Aidpage

I talked to someone on a christian chat site, who was an astronomer, she said "looking up at the stars at night makes her feel so small in this world." As, I sit on the balcony of my apartment tonight, I look up at the vast skies, I to feel so small tonight. It's so easy to be lost and forgotten in this huge world, were here for but a minute, then were gone. I sometimes wonder if and when I leave my earthly home will anyone ever remember me? Will anyone know or remember this one kind loving woman? I am gonna probably say no. There are many of us in this world who feel over looked, we see others who are evil and wicked prospering, why does the good hearted have to struggle so much to get ahead? I tell you now why. It's simple because your good hearted and kind. These impressions are what leave a memory of you in the world. Even in a vast world with billions of other stars shining. I want to be one of those stars shining bright in the sky tonight to. I want to have the white picket fence and the love of my husband once again. I have so many needs tonight only the lord can know them all at once. So, I ask all of you who read this just say a little prayer for one of the stars in Gods world tonight, they call her Barbie, when God hears all the prayers tonight including mine, he'll send the help I need so I to can continue my journey in this world and win the race, the race of love, kindness, joy, and happiness, and finally shine bright with the love of the lord within my heart, please help me by praying to be a bright shining star to. And not to be just glanced at for a second and remain lost in the vast skies of empty broken dreams, lonliness, and sorrow, just be another light in the sky blended in with all the others, for once I want to be noticed and not looked over. I wonder how many hear me tonight? I wonder how many will pray for me to recieve the help I need tonight? I wonder how many care enough to bend down on there knees to say a simple prayer for the lost and lonely people in the world? I wonder are there any at all?

Hi my name is donna im 47 been unemployed since july no job my daughter is 14 and im almost 2 months behind in rent my landlord just gave me an eviction notice to be out by jan 1st if i dont pay rent i have tried everywhere for help and i have no money to move my daughter will not even have a christmas this year im a worthless parent i need help will someone please help

So we get the rule to Vacate, he tells us that during the 10 days we need to clear room by room as fast as possible so he can paint and in that same breath he tells our a/c is broken and he's disconnecting it and he did just that!!!! We've never had the first issue with it being broken, I think that because our utilities are included that he's feeding his authoritarian ego by making us really suffer in 98 degree weather..... and it is. LOL... I have been here for almost 6 yrs without being more than 5 day late ever...... Im trying to be mature about this but I just wanna throw rocks at this man lol....... Someone, Anyone.... Heck EVEN YOU!!!          Tell me something.... advice, opinion..... how to plot revenge....anything

I only hope I receive some kind of help as I need help ASAP, I just received a call from my scumbag lawyer, he says I owe him $100 for services rendered when I payed the guy almost $5000 for his help. left me bone dry, I explained to him what my situation is & how I applied for GR and he just said, "well I need to get paid I have kids to feed" can you believe that? After I told him practically the same thing except letting him know that I am destitute. This guy is snake, I received a 2nd DUI on December 2009(my first was about to hit the 10 year mark in about a month, which I was totally guilty of) & I wasn't even driving, never was My friend was & we ran out of gas on the freeway so he left on foot to the gas station to get gas for my truck never came back!!!! That's why I hired him he said he would get the charges dropped, but instead I got charged with a 2nd DUI!!!! what a jip! so I had to pay for my vehicle to be stored for 30 days which was $2,500. Then I had to pay lawyer fees (almost $5000) also, court fees mounted up to $4,000, then I had to pay for alcohol classes $1,537 then I had to pay another lawyer as my wife, whom I still love divorced me, there went another $3,000. From that point I basically was living from check to check until I kicked out of our apartment & my ex-wife & child still live there. I virtually have nothing and no one to turn to for help. My parents & family are poor & I was the biggest earner so, no help from them. I am starting to hate money because it's such a hassle to obtain now, every single dollar I receive I contemplate what I should put it towards then a feeling of overwhelmingness rushes over me & I can't think straight & try to hold back the tears & pain but can't help it. It's a sad sight to see, a grown man trying to hold back tears of financial burden. I just hope my son never has to go thru what I am going thru.

Days have past still no one has yet to speak....Nights fade into one still no dreams left to seek...Have I lost myself in between or has it lost me...So where do I begin n where do I end n when does it set you free...? Who am I kidding I was never the one to listen nor take time to seek...Lost never to be found for my own inner child hide behind a freak...It wasn't thought of to remember the begining especially if you never expected an ending....What is this that I speak of you only wonder...I couldn't tell you I'm going back under......Lost myself again..

   Hello, I am a mother of two boy 4 and 5.  I am from california.  I have a job that barely makes my bills and i go to school so one day i will be a psychologist and help all the people i possible can.  I have a dream for my family to get a home for my children.  I dont make enough to get a home loan. I wish i could get a secound job but their is no childcare open 24/7.  I have a child in speach therapy he had a delay in speach now he is stuttering. My secound child has sevire behavioral problems and is in a special needs program. Just the other day he cut his teacher.  he also throws big tempertantrums i mean throwing things breaking windows hitting bitting people out of control.  One teacher told me i need to medicate him he is out of control this offended me.  I dont want my child on chemicals i would perfer to use natural things like teas or herbs.  i would rather him find a way to deal with his anger some coping mechanism.  I am not so quick to medicate my thought is if one day he stops taking the medicin on his own when he gets older he is going to have to deal with it than so why not learn it while he is young.  i do get stressed i do cry but i deal with it because i know it will be for the best when he grows and learns how to deal with his emotions on his own appropriatly.  The father of  my boys got deported and he wants me to move to mexico and live their.  though i have much love for him i have so many oppertunities for my babies hear i cant do that to them.  I try to explain how tough i have it over hear its going to be that much tougher for us over their.  i struggle everyday but i do this for my boys they saved my life really?  I have a bad past before i was a mother i was doing drugs and stupid irresponsable things.  it is embarassing and nobudy knows about my past exept my family of course.  i have been off of drugs when i found out i was pregnant and have been clean ever sence.  i grew up in a home of drinking and drugs abuse mulestations rapes. my dad beat me with things and left me alone with his friend to rape me than told me it was my fault that i wanted it.  i was 13 he was 3o something who wants that?  I know i am getting a bit personal and that is why i am anonymous.  i cant hold it in anymore it hurts. i get flashbacks of everything that has ever happened to me.  it wont leave my head i relive it... as i was saying though my boys test me and push me but they saved my life would i still be off drugs if i didnt have kids probobly no i would still be using but i just couldnt do to my children what my dad has done to me i didnt have the heart to do that to them they dont deserve that.. they deserve a chance to live the best life i in my power can give them.  They gave me my dreams they gave me my goals. ha they even give me my stress.  out side i try to put out this "i am so strong" effect.  though inside i feel week.  i have a dream to give my children a home a home of our own being 25 with two kids i believe i should have this but i feel it is to out of reach.  i dont make enough money for a loan i wanted t get a mobile home their cheeper than regular homes.  i work so hard but still dont have much.  i will go so long without anything new for myself just to give to my children.  i want to cry i feel like giving up right now.  but tomorrow ill wake up get up for work and do another day.  using again is not an option not to say i dont struugle with my own mind but i just cant i might as well die first before i use drugs again i would loose everthing i work so hard for every single day.  you might read this and think WOW way to much information can you believe thie crazy nut... i tell you though i dont like to ask for help i am so stubern it would take away from the fake i am so strong attitude i give, right?  i am not strong  i need help and i dont know what to do i am scared i am lonely and i hurt i am everthing i pretend not to be. this is not a joke this is not a fake this is someone who doesnt know how to get herself out of this hole of being poor god if i could only get a home of my own. i ahd an appartment once but they kept raising the rent a one bedroom appt small infested 1000$ a month. out on our own though i had much better self esteem i was so proud of myself how ashamed i was when i had to move into my grandmothers house with my mother.  well i guess i will i have typed enough of my life story im sure... right?  sorry for rambling on..... thank you!

Things are financially tight for us right now. We are in the process of filing Chapt 7 and losing our home, we have found a rent house and worked out a deal with the owner, but we still need the first months rent. We have the utilities to pay and auto insurance etc. Buying food has become a luxury. On the upside we are cleaning out our pantry. I am working on trusting in the Lord above and believe that help will come in His time. Asking for help is new to me. My parents are retired and one lives far away, my spouse's parents are gone. I am feeling really low right now with a need to visit my father and no means to do it. I have been crying all morning hoping for an answer, even someone to talk to who understands my feelings. 

Today is a hard day...I'm sitting here in my bedroom wondering how and when I will be able to provide school clothes for my two children and its very hurtful to think of how I could of possibly gotten to this place in my life...well I can honestly say that it was threw years of domestic violence and there fathers mental illness that I have suffered alot physically and mentally I know go to a community counciling service for medication for my post tramati stress disorder and I pray every day I love my children so much that I left ther father almost five years ago. and I am trying my best to support them but it is very hard when my oldest has adhd and is ten years old and shows similar traits of that seems to remind me every day of his dad my four year old lil girl who will be five in october gives me hope that with proper care of her brother and intense and time consuming therapy...he can beat this mental illness and he can be something his father is not. I Have no income other than his ssi chk and foodstamps and live off of seven hundred dollars a month. Some one please help my children to look there best so they can feel there best, confident in school. It's so important to me and I cant even do it for them someone please help. Sincerely me.